So, I saw a meme posted by a friend of mine earlier that had me thinking about why I'm single. The simplest reason, that I can think of, is because who in their right mind wants to date a 40-something father to three small children? Notice I asked, "who in their right mind," because trust me, I've met several that weren't in their right mind that wanted to date me! My last relationship ended three years ago now, and that woman, though flawed, at least had better sense than what has come along after! Well, I take that back: one was just amazing! I hit it off with her, but she was with somebody. Then, suddenly, she wasn't. Actually, no less than my most recent girlfriend tried to hook us up, since they were friends. My ex-wife even met her - well, actually knew her - and had no objections. Perfect, right? Well, I knew she was babysitting for a friend. It also seemed like she only needed me around as a ride to places, which I didn't mind, since I felt needed. But back up to the friend she was babysitting for. How I knew it was more than just somebody she was babysitting for was when we'd made plans to go skating one night with my kids, and she came along with her friend, minus his kid. And he basically warped her brain from that point on. We don't even talk as friends anymore, because she's gone down the rabbit hole too far to find herself.
Just before her was an old neighbor of mine, which, conversely, was an old neighbor of the woman I just described. Out of the blue one night, she messaged me asking if I wanted to have dinner with her. Well sure, I had nothing else going on, and it was nice to have a free meal, and catch up with a friend that I hadn't seen in awhile. Plus, she was living by the kids, so I could pop in and see them. Well, that was my intention, anyhow. Hers were A LOT MORE AND OMG I didn't have time to think! But something in me just wasn't feeling it. Yes, it was good to have somebody want me, and yes, THAT was good, but something just didn't feel right. Once my ex-wife got wind of it (I flat out told her), she gave me several warnings, which turned out to happen. So, I broke it off. This woman tried to get me back, but I was already given the heads up, looked at her and basically said, "Nice try." It flared back up one night before it was over for good.
Then there was late 2018. I was picking up the pieces of my life again, when somebody I hadn't seen in eons added me to Facebook. Oh cool, wonder what she's up to? She messaged me, saying, "Oh, sorry to hear about your divorce," and I asked what she was up to. She said she was about to get divorced herself. And then she wanted to hook up with me, since she always thought I was cute. Um, OK! Oh, she lives far away. She says she's getting thousands of dollars from her soon-to-be ex-husband. Like, what, you think money can buy me? You just want some reason to move back this way. I never said that to her, honestly, but some of her messages seemed like it wasn't her behind the keyboard. Plus, the words that a woman I dated just before I met my now ex-wife came to mind: she's psycho. This particular girlfriend, at the time, was pretty psycho herself. So I had to make up my mind to believe the words of eleven years prior, since crazy would know crazy, or not, and suspect that crazy would say somebody that wasn't crazy was. I set up meeting her somewhere roughly halfway. I even planned on having a friend of mine come along. But, I had one too many doubts, and I blocked her. Oh, I just recently unblocked her, and my suspicions were correct. I chose... wisely.
I think the point I'm making is that I've yet to find anybody in their right mind to date. And maybe I've just been burned too badly. Like, I've fallen in love with people, but it wasn't returned. I was used as a means to an end. And I think I touched on this in my last post, with the woman that seems absolutely perfect, but yet we haven't talked in about a year now, since I saw who she chose to date over me, and it hurt. I wanted to spend the rest of my life getting to know her, but in that instance, I saw what she wanted, and it wasn't me.
I mean, who knows, if there's a woman out there that comes across this, hit me up. I promise that I am loyal and would never cheat, since I never have, and I've been burned too much. However, please be old enough to where my children don't look at you as a stepsister. And yes, I have joked that I'm not dating until I'm pushing 50, since my next girlfriend probably graduated high school last year. I say that since twice I've been dumped by late 20-somethings in favor of somebody around 50. Plus, it was made abundantly clear to me a couple of years back that I'm getting too old to date 20-somethings anyhow. I mean, if I absolutely wanted to, I know of somebody, but no.
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